Wolverine is a bigger waste of space than I first thought.

The Outlaws are busy taking down Weapon X. They seem to be able to handle it. So I decide it's time to go down to the Batcave and do some research on this Serial killer Shi is after. Unfortunately I'm greeted by this. Disgusting I keep telling them to leave that in West City. Also what is that thing in the corner going "woot" ? Looks like I need to fumigate the Cave again. Well there's only one response to that, give Robin two hours extra training for introducing Vincent to Cassandra.

The problem he'll take out on Superboy giving him extra training for no reason, then Superman Will come here all mad, then again that will at least get him out of the funk he's been in lately. I'm supposed to be the brooding one dammit.

“Vincent! Go home!" I order in my authoritative voice.

After grunting a little, he finally leaves. Oracle whispers in Cassandra's ear. "How many times did I tell you not to make out here the Boss can see?"

“Richard!” I yell "You're training with Batgirl today."

“But holy chivalry Batman! She's a girl!"

" Yes I think that's why she's called Batgirl." I respond.

They go up to the ring and start sparring. I'm hoping that this will jog some of Richard's memories , or maybe at least some of his advanced fight training will instinctually come back to save him from Cassandra's onslaughts.

I hear a lot of girlie screaming I turn and Cass has him in a triangle choke. Well that isn't working so far, but I should let the fight go for another fifteen minutes and see if any sign of Nightwing ever shows itself.

Before I can observe anymore an alarm goes off and the Bat Computer shows me camera footage of Wolverine cutting down some penguin thugs and calling me out. Sigh. I forgot all about him and his little emotional breakdown.

Not that I usually involve myself in mutant pathos, but this is effecting my strike team and their abilities, so I'd better go see Logan and let him know that his paranoia about me and Ana is unfounded.


I drive the Batmobile to the scene. Yes I'm finally buying gas for it, my other mode of transportation the Whirly -Bat was ... well just stupid. It’s petty much a lawn chair with a propeller on it. Though Alfred is still refusing to fill it. Luckily I have one of the Teen Titans do it now. I've finally found a use for them: manual labor.

I drive into Logan to catch his attention, I wonder which titan I'll force to buff out the claw marks in the paint job? Beast Boy looked pretty lazy last time I saw him.

Anyway I announce. “Logan I don't batarang your enemies please don't mutilate mine."

He jumps me.

Not that I didn't expect this. I throw a batrang that explodes and covers him in powder. he falls on the ground rolling around. “What the flamin' hell is this crap? AAAGH!"

" Itching powder.” I let a smile come over my face for a second. “I know your healing factor will fix you up soon enough, but listen to me you idiot I am not dating Shi. I was recruiting her for my strike team that's all we're only professional. Use your senses you can tell I'm telling the truth."

He gets up and stares at Me." yeah but maybe ya can fool my senses?"

" Possibly," I shrug. “But why would I? I have been dating Wonder Woman. I'd rather not be knocked from Gotham to New Jersey thank you very much."

He glares. “Yeah I do smell 'er on ya. Dammit! I've been suckered."

“By who?" I question.

“I dunno some punk I ain't ever heard Azreal or somethin' He sent me pictures of you and Ana."

Jean Paul! That's it! He's had a beating coming to him for along time now. It's time for me to give it to him. “You should know not to trust pictures in the age of Photoshop."

“Yeah, I guess bub, maybe I was just lookin' fer a reason to breakup with Ana." he growls.

" Why?" I have to say the way Logan looks, and smells he was lucky to get Ana and not dating his hand.

“They all die on me bub, either from old age, or slaughtered by someone."

Well that I can understand, though more often in my case they go crazy, or evil. “Someone once told me not to be afraid of Death so much that I stop living."

Logan shakes his head. “Who told ya that?"

"Superman, though he was exposed to a color of Kryptonite that made him act as if he was drunk at the time."

He laughs. “Drunken boy scout I'd pay to see that."

"Hh. It's not as amusing it sounds. “I have no idea what Logan decided to do about the whole Shi thing, but since he left Gotham without more incidents it's none of my business any more. When I return to the Cave I find Richard still getting beaten.

“Oracle? Why are they still sparring? it's been much longer than fifteen minutes."

“Oh really I hadn't noticed.” She gives an evil grin. I'm thinking this has something to do with Barbara's relationship with Nightwing I decide it's better not to pry, and tell Cass to take a break.

I notice she left an envelope on the conference table with something scrawled on it. I open it and see.


I have never wanted to see her like... that. I look at the envelope and again and finally decipher the scrawl as "for Vince." Fine. Robin gets five hours extra training for introducing those two. Also there’s that thing again. I’m defiantly getting the cave fumigated.

I'm back.

I've returned to a madhouse. First All these Titans running around ... Ugh I'm beginning to think I should just go ahead and pay for a new tower. Miss martian Going “Oooh! That's a bad thought!" Every time I walk by is annoying at best, And thinking of ways to relieve the Joker of his teeth are not bad thoughts.

I'm getting a little tired of Ravager stealing my weapons and Alfred's liquor.Oh And Kon-El Being well Kon-El. The incident with the interdimensional rodents was just the most recent goof up. That all the others are just plain irritating especially Wondergirl. I should talk to Diana about her sometime.

Also I don't know what's up with Jason. When I left he was wearing a leather jacket and calling himself "Red Hood." I come back he's wearing this and calling and calling himself "Red Robin." I don't know if he got that idea from a dream or what.

And the other two Robins Are having a fit over him calling himself a robin, I had to save the both of them from Jason's crowbar twice today. Later on I teamed up woth Superman to defeat The Prankster, and the puzzler,

Actually we really didn't need to team up for that, it was an excuse to hang out at a coffe shop later and trade war stories, because well both Prankster and Puzzler are what Tim calls "lame".

Then I have to deal with Shi's boyfriend issues. Apparently Wolverine believes we are dating for some reason, I have to say though Diana is enough woman for any man, I have no need to cheat on her. The whole Bruce Wayne playboy act as always been that , an act.

Any way I wanted him to help with a mission to Weapon X. Seems he's too full of himself to see the truth. I think I'll have a talk with him after this all blows over. So I've sent Shi to Weapon X, Along with a certain Victor Sage AKA The Question. I

Also Supergirl keeps screaming at me to put Richard at his right age, problem being I'm not really sure how he was turned eight in the first place, I've looked through his appointment books since before his change, and I have no clue there. All his appointments seem to be with superhero women. One for that younger daughter of Vegeta, Sigh, Richard at least wait until she's eighteen. The twenty year old one I kind sort of understand, but this Best not to think about it. He was supposed to meet her At a building in between Gotham and west City, I found some interesting particle traces there, Maybe I have found something To return Richard to Nightwing.


But you know with all these problems at least it's not boring, like that Vacation ws. What was I thinking? Water skiing and a mystery train? Water skiing was way too easy, and can I help it that I solved the mystery on the train in one minute. The writers and the actors made it way to obvious.

So now The Mystery Train Company says I have an "attitude problem." They should see Hawkman now that's an attitude problem. Ah Gotham, why did I ever leave you? I missed the madmen, insane deathtraps and bickering sidekicks, its true what they say there's no place like home.