I'm not crazy ( well no more than usual)

I know I've been running around Gotham in this extremely ugly costume.

And yes I know I look like a crayon box threw up on me. You see I ... this is so embarrassing... I lot a bet. Superman bet me he could not only eat 10 gallons of ice cream in five seconds with out a brain freeze.

I was sure he wasn't invulnerable to brain freeze. Hh I hate being wrong. So now I have to run around Gotham in that hideous outfit. Where did Superman get this idea? A red, purple, and yellow Batman costume? Ugh.

What's worse I no longer strike fear in the superstitious cowardly criminals. They laugh. Okay I've come to expect that from the Joker, but not normal thugs. Okay I admit I beat them a little harder than maybe I should now, but being laughed at is new, and annoying.

I also have Robin running after me ranting. “You’re crazy Batman! I must bring you down!"

I know you go through a lot Tim. I know Marvin, and Wendy your janitors or whatever they are were eaten by some kind of Greek Myth monster dog. That doesn't mean you have to take it out on me.

Wait a minute a call is coming in.

“Hey Batman." Superman smiles on the communicator screen.

“I’m not betting with you again. You'd probably have me in a pink tutu or something. “I growl." Why can't you bet for money like normal people?"


“I’m the man that has everything" He grins. “Embarrassing you is more fun anyway but all things have to come to an end. The allotted time for the bet is over you can go back to your regular costume."

I let a grin come over my face, and drive back to the Batcave breaking a few land speed records


Ah much better. Moral of the story is don't bet with Superman.

Family squabbles

The Riddler sent me a note by way of Commissioner Gordon. You see he's on my side now, but instead of a calling me, and telling me where a crime will happen he still sends me riddles. Idiot.

So I pretty much have this solved when the kids start yelling in the Bat Cave. “You did it Cass! Admit it!"

"Nuh- uh!"

"Nightwing's right you did to!"

“No!"


Grahhh! Stupid sidekicks! Why is Nightwing even here anyway? I go down to the cave to find all three of them fighting.

“Stop this now!" I order." What's going on?"

“Cass stole all the cookies! That Alfred baked!" Robin yells.

“I did not! They were just gone ...a second after I ... saw them."

I shake my head." Hh. Let's take a look at the scene of the crime."

The only sign I found of the cookies in question was one that was half eaten. I take something out of my belt. “Cassandra take a bite out of this."

“Um...why?" She takes a look at it." It’s gooey." She bites it any way.

“It’s to make a dental impression Cass. I compare the impression to the cookie. “From this impression I can safely say Batgirl didn't bite this cookie, and that she needs to floss more."

“Who did?" Nightwing asks.

All of the sudden Bat-Mite appears in front of all of us.

Why? Why does this freak stalk me? I wonder if I can get a restraining order from 5th dimensional imps?

“Hey bat crew!' he announces.

Cassandra answers with “you’re ugly."

“This coming from a girl that wears a full face mask?"

“Want to borrow...it? You need it more than I do." She responds. Since when does she does she make cracks? Not really a bad one either."


Wing what's wrong?"

Oh great he's having a flashback to the last time Bat-Mite appeared to him when he was Robin.

What was worse was Wally "Kid Flash” West yelling "get a room!"

“Aww he missed me." Bat-Mite smiles. “And we can all have fun adventures all the time! Now what are some silly old cookies compared to having me around all the time?"

The kids look at each other for a second then yell “get him!" simultaneously. As they start beating him I turn away.

" Bruce help!" The weirdo begs.

“No." I respond simply. “Alfred if you don't mind can you bake another batch of cookies? And maybe clean up the mess after the kids are done with Bat-Mite."

“Very good sir." And he made some kind of remark about "pests” and” bug spray."

Bat-Mite shrieks “My spleen!" before vanishing

Dick yells “keep your hands to yourself!" To the smoke.

Hh. I should look into getting some kind of Bat-Mite repellant. I mean I have Shark repellant; at least I could actually have a use for Bat- Mite repellant.

Saiyans...

I was doing pretty well without saiyans. In fact the last few days were pretty good except for Nightwing finding his birthday present early.

Then that Justice girl appears in Gotham. Seems Cassandra had told her that I could give her advice. Though she made some comment about me creating protocols against Galen.

"I'm a man who walks among gods, I have to be prepared."

“How would you feel if someone had thought of ways to beat up Wonder Woman?"

“I already have protocols against her as well." I state. Her eyes widen in shock." Aw to be young and naive again. As long as Galen doesn't become mind controlled you have nothing to worry about, you may think his tech is some mysterious force but he's still human still has weaknesses never mind what do want?"


Tells me about alien soldiers killing innocents.

“And you’re supposed to be their symbol?"

She nods.

“Then you cannot allow this to continue I created Batman to be a symbol not just for fear of criminals, but also for normal people to feel safe. That's why I put down anyone who wears it, and kills unless you want your legacy to be one of atrocities you need to nip this in the bud now."

She nods. “You know Cass is right about you." Then she leaves I wonder what she meant by that. I put it out of my head, and swing over towards City Hall to talk to Jim Gordon.

Before I get there I'm jumped by another saiyan.

" Hahahaha! Once I beat you the girl will be mine!"

I have no idea what he's talking about, and I don't really care I don't particularly feel like be being beaten today. I throw a batarang in his face; it explodes throwing pepper spray in his eyes.

While he's growling I use a hyper sonic device to knock him off balance. Then while his ears, and eyes are incapacitated. I put on my adamantium gloves and hit him in the groin first.

Hey don't knock fighting dirty. It's one of the reasons I've survived all these super villains. I punch him a few more times for good measure, and turn when I hear a mocking laughter.

It was Vegeta. He didn't attack just flew off. I get the feeling this was a set up of some kind.

Any way I get home after helping Gordon take down a drug ring. Oddly led by Kool-Aid. Yeah one of my stranger nights. I'm just glad Batmite didn't show up.

Diana pulls me out of bed around noon. “What? Corn Chips!" I respond must have been dreaming.

"Bruce did you forget we were going to meet with Jason's girlfriend today."

I rub my eyes. “Just what I need another scowling angry saiyan."

Diana grins “you should get along just fine then."

“Ha ha." I respond sarcastically.

“You don't need to worry if you had actually paid attention the first couple of times you met her you'd realize she's different than the others."

At lunch I see what she means.

“Oh like wow! Wonder Woman! You are like my hero!"

“We’ve met before Vella." She laughs.

“Yeah but this isn't an end of the world thing I can't believe I'm eating lunch with Wonder Woman!"

Jason slaps his force head. “What did I say about being hyper?"

"Oh hush Jason. Um... this may sound stupid but Wonder Woman can I have your autograph?"

It got odder, and odder she didn't say "bah!" once and was actually laughing in a non evil way, and making jokes.

I whisper " Are you sure your Vegeta's daughter?"

“Hee hee yup!" I watch as she fixes a cell phone. What's stranger is Jason was actually acting civil for once. After the lunch was over Diana smiles. “Did not tell you so or didn't I?"

"Yes, she’s smart, happy, attractive, and nothing like any saiyan I've met thought there is a rumor that that Goku one acts something like that without the intelligence. You know what this means?"

She beams. “I think so."

“Jason is going to screw this up."