Fake Batman revealed

( Note this happened before Vegeta's latest posts. )

I had Miss Martian scan my mind, just to be sure I had not lost my mind and decided to stalk Vampirella in my sleep. Usually I would have J'onn do it, but he's off fighting drunks with Deadpool or something.

She says it was not me, but she also said I should look into being more happy. She mentioned rainbows , and puppies. I grunt, and leave. So I have to stakeout Vampirella's mansion.

I use the teleporter in the cave to go to Cass' cave, then I drive outside West City on the way Nightwing calls me. " Hey Bruce! Your going to give me lots of Dr. Pepper now!"


I'm almost afraid to ask. " What did you do Richard?"

" I set you up with Wonder Woman."


" Nightwing! How many times have I told you if my enemies discovered I had someone close to me they would do everything they can to make sure she's dead."

He snorts over the cell phone. " Yeah I can see Diana really being afraid of the Penguin."

I roll my eyes . " Ok I'll go on the date, but I'm not guaranteeing anything."


I could almost feel the smugness over the phone. " You'll thank me later. "

"Bye Nightwing. " I say slightly irritated. I push all this out of my mind, when I reach the outside of the mansion. I stay hidden in the shadows. but it seems Vegeta's Son had found me .


" I'm sick of your obsession. " He growls and attacks me at super speed, The thing about those with speed powers is they will get a few shots in. Lucky for me, he's not trying to kill me while he's speeding around me I toss out a Batarang, that was like a flash bang grenade.

While his eyes are stung, I take out a weapon that was first created by Captain Koma, a synapse disrupter. And plunge it into his brain. He shakes tries to get up, and I hit with it again.

He fell unconscious. I look around to make sure I don't have to use the the weapons I have against the devil boy or the composite alien girl. No They are not around. but I hear the vampire shout. " Bruce ! How many times have I told you I'm not interested?!"


I look around, she's no where near me . The voice came from the mansion. I take out my grapple hook. I smash through the window to see another man in a Batman costume.

" So. You've decided to interfere!" The other Batman shouts.

I glare. " You used my name and my costume, and you didn't think I would stop it?"

He charges me and tosses several Batarangs I dodge them and land a kick in his soalr plexus He foot sweeps me me I land hard, but jump back to my feet and land left hook.

As we battle I notice something, he has some of my moves, but his style seems more like the ones the Order of St. Dumas use. Then I know who this is.

"Azrael!" What are you doing? I thought you were dead!"

" So you figured it out Bruce. " He smiled.


" Why Jean Paul?"

I remembered this man after, I had trained him, and broke his conditioning as an assassin. After Bane had broke my back, I had chose Jean Paul Valley to be Batman. I know that was a bad idea, but I was on a lot of pain killers at the time.


" I'm lonely!" Azrael announces. " But what woman would want Azrael? So I used all the gadgets you gave me when I was Batman to disguise my scent, ki everything. it did work with Poison Ivy, But this one, is something special! And I will have her!"

Vampirella slashed Jean Paul's mask, cutting his face, for the first time she saw who her tormentor truly was. He starts raving. " If I can't have you Vampi no one will!" He screams before jumping out the window.

Before I jump out after him Vampirella stops me . " Sorry Bruce I thought he was you.."


" Whatever." I state, before leaping to to find Valley.

Before I could catch up to him, I get a call from the JLA. Seems Cyberdyne is being attacked by the hunting aliens I had battled before, the bug like xenomorphs, that Superman had faced , and terminator robots from the future. Normally I would ignore it, until I heard Jason was in the thick of it.

Though he hates me I still think of him like a son, I'm not going to let him die again. After getting back to the cave, I meet Superman on the way to face the threat.

Holy doubles Batman!

I found the other batman fighting thugs in my city. it took longer than expected since all the heroes fought off an invasion of the so called "Sinestro Corps." What's worse is Sueprboy Prime is free again. Fortunately their war has gone back into space. With Hal Jordan and John Stewart both leaving the planet to battle with them.


What's worse is a saiyan girl has a Green Lantern ring now. Hopefully Vegeta will be smart enough to keep her away from the Guardains and their cloak and dagger games.


Now back to the other Batman. While he was fighting the gang members who I was waiting to capture later after they lead me to their boss, he was playing some kind of music on his utility belt" Nah Nah Nah nah Batman!" And every time he punches someone, there's a noise like Biff! Boff! Zowie! I have no explanation for that.

Well my plans are shot. I might as well confront this doppelganger. I leap down and stare at glare at him.

" Great Gotham!" He exclaims. Are you a fan? I'm sorry, but you have the costume wrong the cape is blue not black and that Bat Symbol is way too big.And why are you trying to look so fearsome? The people of Gotham wouldn't trust you like that."


" Your in the wrong universe. " I explain. " I'm Batman here."


" Oh if that's so tell me Chum. What's your name and why did you decide to use the bat as your symbol?"

Hh. I don't like telling my real name , for all I know he comes from a Universe where Santa Claus is Batman. But I need to get him out of my city and back to his own, that and I need to know if he's the one stalking Vampirella.

" Bruce. And The bat is is because criminals are a superstitious cowardly lot.That and I also wear this costume to inspire others to fight against crime."

He looks me over and smiles. " You are me aren't you? " Then he frowns. " The state of your city though, You haven't done very well have you?"

That I was insulted by." I don't know what your Universe is like mister.. but mine has the most dangerous criminals."


Before I say another word a batarang goes for my face. I catch it and and see Robin, but not the Robin from this reality. " look out Batman he's evil just look at that costume."


It sounds like Dick, not Tim. but he's hyper extremely hyper like that Tim when the Richard of my Universe was twelve and drank an entire case of DR. Pepper in an hour. Me and Alfred had to scrape him off the ceiling that day.

" Old chum." the other Batman starts. " What have I told you about books and their covers?"


" I'm sorry Batman but he looks like some kind of evil you."

The other me grins. " Don't worry about it . We'll go home and I'll get you chocolate milk. "

" Whoopie!" The Alternate Robin cheers. This.... is strange.

" Old chum is something wrong?" The other Batman asks .


" Well.. I saw Batgirl, at least I thought it was her. She had some kind new costume. And it well wasn't as nice as the other one I couldn't see her face, or her pretty hair. So asked her Babs Why are you dressed all weird? And I gave a flower, and and a kiss on the cheek when this weird animal boy hit me He looked like he put a stores worth of hair gel on. "

"Oh no. he's met the saiyan boy." I think to myself.

" That explains why you have a black eye But why do you look like something bad happened?" the other Batman interrogates.

" Well he was strong. Real strong but I noticed he wasn't looking at the full moon. I thought maybe he had a weakness to it and I jumped in front of it to get him to look at the moon. "

Great. I don't like where this is going.

" Go on my old friend. " Other Bats keeps up.

" Well he did look at it , and he started convulsing and yelling. Then he got big real big. and I yelled there he is Holy King Kong Batman!"

I got mad. "You damned kid! You unleashed a saiyan ape on my city!"

The Batman and Robin both gasped. " You said a bad word!" other Robin declares!

Don't worry Robin !" Other me yells. He sprays me with something. " My Bat curse repellent will show him the error of his ways!"

Whatever that was it stung my moth. then he took a small pill out of his belt and it inflated into what looked like a kiddie pool. " Get in old Chum! My Bat universal transport will get us out of this insane Universe!"


That really shouldn't have worked, But whatever there is no way I can believe someone who acted as wholesome as that Batman would stalk Vampirella , and according to the JLA computers that was the last alternate Batman in the reality. So there are two options. I've had some kind of psychotic break, or Someone from this world is pretending to be me. I have to get my mind checked by a telepath, if it's not me, then I will have to solve this one way: Old fashioned stakeout.

But first I have a giant monkey to get out of Gotham.

On the trail of the fake Batman

I have found some more other universal interlopers. First one was Sweat pants Batman who seen here in his native universe.



His version of "Gotham " seems to be a suburb. And how nice of his version of the Riddler to stand around waiting for him to get finished with his very slow climb there. When The JLA Found his universe I was the butt of joke of many jokes until we found found "Sweat Pants with Red Briefs Superman" "Diaper Wonderwoman" " Female swimsuit over leotard Green Lantern." And my personal favorite " Flash with paunch."

So when I found "Sweatpants." in my Universe with his psychotic Robin trying to kill Bane. ( Who beat the living daylights out of both of them.)I capture both them and Bane. After Sweatpants Tells me that "girls are icky" II know he's not the fake.


I send him back to his own reality. Yes I have a dimensional portal in the cave. And, No I don't know where Ace went though I suspect in some other reality. He kept chewing on the dials.

Any way the second fake Batman I found was One I call " Weak big nosed loser" Batman. Here he is in his native reality, and look how the JLA disrespect him. Hh. I wouldn't put up with that.

He wasn't hard to find. He ran up to Jason Todd and started hugging him while sobbing. I found what was left of his body an hour later. So I have no idea if this one was the Batman that has been harassing Vampirella, though I'm fairly sure the giant nose would be a dead giveaway.


After some investigation I found there is one more alternate Universe Batman still here. This one.

Batgirl: Which Laura is it?

After coming back from the um future I Went to See Batman I had to be sure him, Tim, and Nightwing were alright... it sounds um silly. Bit after seem Tim die in the future, and being told Bruce was dead.. I had to see them here. I used the um thing Vella put up in my cave to go to Bruce's any way I had to to see if what Vegeta's family was saying about him was true.

I found him sitting at the ah, computer.

" Cassandra I heard about your trip into an alternate future I'm glad you've come here I know how those can mess with your head."


" I'm OK... How are you?"

He grunts. "Mad. Someone is pretending to be me, or is me from an alternate reality. I have no leads on finding him. That's why I was talking to Tim here." he points at the screen, I wave at Robin he does it back. " Iwanted to know if the pretend Batman has contacted him. "

" And he hasn't I don't know what to say." Robin's body language says he's confused.. and a little ...stressed.

" Thank you Robin, Batman out."

" Bruce... did you show up at Justice's house.. and dance naked?" he gives me this.. weird look. He gets real mad. " No! there is someone trying to make me look like a fool! The same someone that lead Wolverine to fight with me in New York a few months back! Batgirl tell your little boyfriend, and his family for me that I AM NOT INTERESTED IN VAMPIRELLA!"

His body language says he's not lying.. it is someone else. Which .. makes sense since.. he always seemed to like Catwoman, or the woman in um star panties and the glowing rope.

" Can I.. um borrow the Batcycle?" I ask.

He calms down. " Why?"

" I was.. going to the Outsiders um place.. I need to see X-23 she kissed my boy.. and.. "


He waves me away. " Go ahead I'd rather not hear about the teenage soap opera."

" I hope you .. stop the fake Batman." I smile and take the bike.

" I will." He mutters.

Some time later I'm at the Outsiders' house. They are um, practicing. Kara is.. there.. I don't know why. I'm.. glad I have my mask on.. She wouldn't see my bad look at her I walk up behind Laura.





" We need to talk." I say.

" What I'm kinda busy Cain ya wantin' ta spar or somethin?"

" I'd rather.. not talk in front of.. them"

Nightwing gets the res of the team. to go into the the place. " Why's Supergirl here?"

Laura shrugs. " Superboy was whinin' about her bein' in the Titans. Ya gotta problem wit' her or somethin'?"

I stare at her. ..." Yes same problem.. I have with you. "


" Eh?"

" You kissed Vincent. "

Her body language.. wasn't what I thought it'd be.. She was confused. "Did .. Trunks tell you this?"

" No! I saw it!"

She gets angry. " Then someone's been pullin' yer chain! I ain't been in the states in weeks. It wasn't me. "

She's telling the truth. " There's.. a lot of that going around.. lately. Here.. give Nightwing his bo staff."



I drove to the X-men's place. I snuck in. Some lady.. in white with very little clothes on notices .. me but doesn't stop me. I find.. Another Laura. " Well well. If it isn't the Bat Bitch are ya here because Ya wanna fight me? Ya ain't gonna beat this time."


" I... Don't think your the Laura .. I fought. Why are you.. pretending to be my brother's friend?"

" Nightwing ain't yer brother freak ya know what? I think I'll carve ya up and give ya as a gift to yer boy friend. "

She pops her.. um claws and goes for me eyes. I catch her hand and her claws keep growing.. that surprises me. She uses the fact that I'm um .. Off balance to claw me with a foot claw.

I hit.. her in the face .. as hard as I can.. I forgot I wasn't fighting the real Laura. she falls ... hard. her mouth, and nose is bleeding... Green blood?

" What the? My blood? Why the hell ain't I healin? What's with my blood? What's happenin' to me?"

She runs away screaming. I look at my hand.. where have .. I seen green blood before.. that's right when we found that.. um alien that can look like people. What did Vic um I mean the Question call it? Oh yes "Skrull."

I shouldn't let my partners near the Bat Computer.

The TX unit has said there are many searches on my computer for Vampirella pictures. Hh. Fine. Normally I don't listen to murderbots but curiosity got the better of me. I searched my isp records I found that I all I kind find for me is Searches that pertain to the Mission. Detective Searches.

So I looked at Nightwing's search records. And there I found it. Not just searches For Vampirella, But Power Girl, Wonderwoman, Invisible Woman, She Hulk, Huntress Etc. Etc. And this IM From Oracle.

Oracle: You know your going going to get in trouble for doing that to Bruce.

Nightwing: Nah! I just blame all those costumes with the Bat nipples on Robin.

Oracle: LOL! Poor Tim like he doesn't have enough problems.

Nightwing: Well I could blame Spoiler for it then.

Oracle: Perfect! So are you going to wear the chaps tonight.

Nightwing: Of course!


I'm not putting up anymore of that conversation. To think I fired Spoiler for making those stupid Bat-Nipple costumes, and it was Dick all along. Looks Like I have to apologise. This made me curious, what are the others looking up?


Robin's searches started off normal. Then got strange here's some examples.


How to find and kill Myspace users.

Cloning for dummies.

How to get Ex Dead Ex Girl friends, and Best friend's girl friends in a three way.


Also he has a lot of IMS that go like this

Robin03: It's your fault That Mad Mod got away!

Konman: Nu -uh!

Robin03: Uh Huh!

Konman: Nu-uh!

It goes on for three more pages like that.

Now we go to Batgirl who usually has help searching for things usually Alfred Or Spoiler. I'm really hoping It's Spoiler helping her with these searches.

Hot Martial Arts boys.


How to please a Saiyan Warrior

Ick!

Spoiler's aren't any better She seems to want to pay someone if it is who I suspect it is, well I don't know how she's going to get that kind of money. Here's the IM.

Spoilgrrrl: My dad is threatening to sue for custody of my daughter. If I pay you the price, you'll beat him up for me right?


Big Joe: Sure kid. I ain't particular.

Spoilgrrrl: Cool he's the Cluemaster you've heard of him right?

Big Joe: Heh. That loser he ain't worth that much. How about I beat up someone else too? So I don't feel bad fer takin' yer money.

Spoilgrrrl: Okay I heard rumours that Black Mask has come back to life, he tirtured and killed me how about you do something special and real bad to him.


Big Joe: Heh. Ya got it kiddo.

Looks like I'm going to have to have a long talk to Stephanie about hiring super powered enforcers. Especially when said enforcer is really the Hulk.

Alfred's searches bother me. They all have the words "Lonely French Maid" in them.


Sigh is that all these people think about? Or maybe there's something wrong with me? perhaps I'm a little too obsessed with cleaning up Gotham. Hmm Perhaps I should get a date? Well after I find who the fake Batman is.