Bat Christmas

The JLA Meeting was about how they know what I'm doing with the team I created and while officially they don't condone it, unofficially they seem to be fine with it. Though Ollie is trying to say I'm hiding Bruce Cain, and he blames the supposed time traveler for his son Connor's death. Though I heard he was shot by a cloud.


That sounds really stupid when you say it out loud, or when you don't. It seems Ollie doesn't know me very well. I don't like Cain very much, and I wouldn't help him do anything. I don't think he has anything to do with Connor's murder. Besides he's fallen off the map recently I hope he went back where he came from.

At Christmas Eve back at Gotham I had to deal with another "Christmas with the Joker." Are they ever going to keep him locked up? The most unbelievable thing happened, the Batmobile actually broke a wheel like that stupid song.


On the way home I found these keys that said had a note saying "To Batman." I look over and there's a thing that looks like a combination of a Batmobile and a tank with a bow on it.

As for the sleigh, someone has to be messing with me, I suspect Superman. Whatever I drove this thing and captured the Joker with ease. I'm going to keep it handles like a dream, don't know what to call it yet, though I'm thinking Bat-Tank or Tumbler.

Today our present to Alfred was for all of us to do the work he'd normally do. Robin was calling Cassandra Sandsmark AKA Wondergirl talking about finding someone called "Justice." Meanwhile Stephanie Brown was giving him the evil eye.

And Richard is still an Eight year old. And I gave him a rabbit as a present, for Tim a pair of Adamantium gloves like me, and Cassandra's and a gift certificate for as many CDS he could ever want.

Cassandra I gave her a new Bo Staff so she'll stop stealing Nightwing's if he ever becomes Nightwing again. Someone also gave her a pair of Nunchucks I'm guessing her boyfriend.

Barbra's gift to Cassandra didn't go over so well. And who invited Azreal?


Also Jean Paul needs to cut down on the caffeine. That little outburst was unnecessary. Not that he had any time to apologize because he was attacked in approximately .03 seconds later, by Cassandra's half alien boyfriend.

I had no idea Vincent was going to be here, but I should have suspected. The kid is so damn fast there was no way I could have stopped him from killing Azreal, but he only punched Valley, and let him go . “Stay away from her."

Well there's hope for that boy yet. His posture, breathe. face and everything suggested he wanted to kill , but he didn't, even though he's the son of one of the Galaxy's worst mass murderers.

Hh. Looks like Barbra was right, he can be a hero and not whatever the hell Vegeta is. I hate being wrong. Oracle is going to brag forever. I wonder If I leave this alone like Nightwing suggested before he became a little boy would she just get tired of him?

well there's always the worst case scenario, I could end up being invited to some strange Saiyan wedding ceremony in a few years. I push that horrible thought out of my mind , and decide it's high time to teach, Robin/Tim and re teach Robin/ Richard, and Batgirl how to fly the Batwing.

It didn't go so bad for Tim seems he's been practicing. Richard I think maybe remembering his old life, and did quite well as for Cassandra well...



Vincent laughs in the plane. “This is fun; there is nothing for you to worry about."

Tim shakes his head." Easy for you to say not only are you dating Miss Kamikaze, but you’re invulnerable."

“True."

That was a good day now everyone is back to their own missions, and I have to see what the see what the Question, and the other Outlaws have come up with on the super soldier case.

Batgirl: Older brothers

Me and Vincent.. Are back together.. but it is .. All weird. .. Stupid Celera.. and her dumb .. Breakup plan. I'm supposed to.. Go to a dance at ... um Xavier's with Vincent.

So I put on.. the dress.. That Steph.. and me picked out. But. I am not wearing... those shoes. Dumb high heels break on me.... How Barbra had them... in a costume... I don't know.

Barbra came in and asked me if I “Beat up Celera so bad she was put in a hospital in West City."

I looked at her. “No."


“Crap. They found a piece red plastic the kind in the Red Hood's stupid helmet."

I um ask "Jason?"

“Yes Jason. You were nice to him Cassandra, I guess him beating up the ones that made you and Vincent break up is his way of looking out for you. Celera maybe lucky to be alive. I may have to warn Jean Paul."


“You... think He would hurt Azreal?"

“Yes, and if he thinks he really hurt you. Who knows? He could kill him."

" Um.. Barbra... How are you? Since... Richard turned .. to a boy?"

“Worry about that later. Right now I'm going to have to track down either Azreal or Hood."


She goes.. to her um computer, Does some stuff.. She calls. "Azreal? This is Oracle,you may have a situation."


" If you mean Red Hood, Yeah I know. Little punk is trying to stab me Arrgh!"

Then Jason's voice.. comes over the speaker. " Hiya Babs. See you at Christmas."

“Damn!" Oracle yells. “Bruce is ... Somewhere. The Birds of prey are already on a mission, and Robin's in West City, besides that Azreal is wanted, and Hood is a SHILED Agent.

I'll... Stop them."

She rolls her eyes. “In that dress shouldn't you at least get into costume?"

I was already out the window.. After swinging through the buildings.. And listening to ...Babs' .. Uh Instructions, I find them, fighting.


Jason, and Jean Paul were fighting.. um equally until.. Jason used a tazer. on Jean Paul. Then he started kicking Azreal in the gut.

“Stop!" I yell.

" Huh? Wha? Ah Great. Az must have a locater on his costume Huh? Well hey Little Sister. Isn't a little cold to be in that dress? Trying a new codename? Goose bump girl maybe?"

“Jason... Don't hurt him.” I say.

“Ah don't tell me you got feelings for this loser."

I shrug " He's my friend."

" Well sis I know you don't know all of this stuff yet, but you see friends don't break up friend's relationships." He punches Jean Paul.

“That Hybrid wasn't good enough for her!" Azreal screams. He gets up he puts his um hand on my face. " She needs someone more her type."


Jason punches Azreal in the kidney. “Find a woman your own age, or better yet one that actually likes you."


I get in between the two "Stop! Jean Paul.. Your my friend.. I don't like you that way. "

" Yeah, pal. Now hands off!" Jason grabs onto him and Azreal cuts his chest I he falls down. Jean Paul jumps off the roof... He acts likes he's drunk.. Or something."

I try to look at the um wound on Jason... All He was wearing more armor.. under his costume ... Than normal. And there was this ... Um symbol thing.

"Jason... What?"

“Oh the costume? I was thinking of changing my codename. Getting a little sick of the strawberry lollipop jokes. So what's with the dress?"

“I was supposed to be at an ...um dance in New York."

“Well we can get there in my car. Special SHIELD Issue, Sis."

" Um..What's so special about it?"

He smiles " It can fly."


" So... He took me to the dance, and waited outside... while me and Vincent had a good time. Though... his friends wondered.. why I had on um...sneakers on. I have to remember.. to.. um Tell Jason to let me.. solve my own problems.

Finding a replacement is harder than I thought

Catwoman quit the team. So I have to find a replacement. Worse yet at Vampirella's blog birthday party Jason decided to be disgusting, and sit in Vampirella's cake nude. I had to save him from Mirai while dodging a Wolverine/ Vegeta fight.

Not sure which angry midget to root for there. Any way after saving Jason's neck. Later at the pent house I rented for the Outlaws. I contact my first idea for a replacement. And while I get to listen to Goku and Richard fight over who was better on that stupid Airbender show. (He just had to come too.)

All of the sudden Scarlet Spider is thrown through a window. " Gah! What is up with that kid? She has no superpowers how could she do that to me?"

Goku jumps up "Who?"

"Her." Spider points.


"I was invited." Batgirl mumbles.

" Uh!uh! No way we believe that little miss League of Assassins! “Riley yells." That's ridiculous insane...”

“And true." I Interrupt. “Her time with the LOA was a ruse devised by her and myself."

Spider stares. “So you just have a fetish of making heroes look like villains?"

“Spider your too rusty in the use of your powers, you need more training go to it. "

" Aww man!" He complains.

Cassandra wandered off and started talking to Question. "So .. your not bad?"

“Nope just like you're not. It's good to see you again kid. Are Vincent and Inertia keeping out of trouble?"

She starts getting uncomfortable . And I know the reason why and it couldn't have come at a better time. Though it was inevitable given that the saiyan boy is nothing but a brute.

“Vic I would like to talk to Cassandra alone.”

“Sure." He nods.

“What’s going on? " She asks.

“Since your little infatuation with the hybrid is over I was wanting to know if you'd like to join this team?"


She looks confused. “But... um what a... about Steph?"

“Spoiler can join too." I reassure.

" Vella?.. Inertia... Ironboy?"

“All of them can't join, but..."

“No... I've made friends... I don't want.. to leave them." Then she makes a sighing noise. “And.. Vincent is... being used.. I don't want.. him.. to be with that girl... He'll be ... miserable." Her hand clenches into a fist, and she seems to make a decision. then she jumps out the window and swings toward my mansion looks like she'll be using the teleporter in my cave .

After the training, and Goku returning home , I head back to my cave as well and go through the files of known vigilantes, then I find one who I've had a run in with before. Shi.

Hmmm maybe. Then my JLA communicator Beeps.

“Batman here." I answer.

“Bruce this is Superman. We'd like to talk about your little strike team."

Great.

Fight with the future

I wake up on a cliff side with a chained to a temple, wile Bruce Cain/Ra's Al Ghul Makes an announcement to the world using some computer that he has saiyan powers , and will destroy three fourths of the population unless human's do it themselves through war or something.


This plan has so many flaws in it, It's ridiculous. One he doesn't seem to know how to control Cain's powers. Two there are others with similar powers. Three, this is taking saving the environment way too far. Four though he has my Utility belt, he didn't check to see if I had any other escape methods hidden on me.

Super villains just wouldn't be super villains if they didn't make such dumb mistakes. I let a lock pick slip out of my glove, into my mouth, and I use my teeth to open the the lock on my right hand, the rest should be easy from there.


So now I'm free. I sneak up to the ninja that has my belt. And one sleeper hold later. I have the belt. David Cain looks over to me, And nods, So as does an associate of Cassandra's called "Alpha" who infiltrated the ranks of the assassins to watch her supposed son, from the future.

My guess is to save the boy from himself. Not that it matters. His servant a Clown that knows Kung fu attacks " Master Al Ghul! The Bat has escaped!"

As everyone know I have no problem punching clowns.

Alpha turns on the Ninjas and oddly so does one of the Ninjas. Who after he gets his mask ripped off I recognize him as Azreal.

"Jean Paul! What are you doing here?" I demand.

"When I heard there was someone with the name "Cain." running around with the League of Assassins I decided to investigate. Tell me if this psycho kid is really from the future does that mean Cass ends up with that alien douche bag?"


I glare. "Why should you care?"

Before he answers I dodge a shot from Ra's/ Cain. "You can't stop me now Detective!"

They always say that right before I stop them. Not that Ra's plan was any good. I take out two adamantium gloves from my belt, (because hitting superman level invulnerable people hurts the hands believe me.)

And I e fought lucky for me Ra's doesn’t know how to use Bruce Cain's fighting stlyle o r his abilities instead of trading punches with a super strong, super fast alien hybrid, I get slow man who fights like my grandma.

So after introducing his jaw to the metal fist, he starts reeling then talking to himself in two different voices. Finally he kneels down. "Grandfather kill me before Ra's learns to use my powers."

David takes out a gun. "Okay son, this has adamantium bullets. It won't hurt."

I elbow David Cain in the mouth. I had noticed when Ra's was in control an amulet The hybrid was wearing would glow I knock it off with a Batarang. After screaming and glowing Ra's and Bruce are separated.

"You saved me?" Cain asks surprised.

"Yes but you must still pay for your crimes."

He sneers. " Same ol' Grandpa Bats."

Ra's grabs the gun and shoots Bruce Cain. The Ryu from the Street Fighter Tournament clone Blasts Cain In the chest opening the wounds more. "Finally it's my turn to rule the league of Assassins!" He shouts.

Cain Grabs on to Ra's and they both fall over the cliff. Evil Ryu Laughs. " Now your all that stands in my way Batman!"

He shows off with all these complicated martial arts moves and throws a few fireballs to intimidate me. I throw a batarang at his forehead knocking him out. I Use the remote for the Batplane, and when it gets here I look around the bottom of the cliff.

Nothing but a few drops of blood. Looks like Bruce Cain, and Ra's Al Ghul both escaped. When i get back to the top of the cliff, I find a few knocked out ninjas, a Clown and evil Ryu. Well at least I can turn them over to the authorities.


I return home to where Alfred refuses to talk to me, Robin is who knows where, Nightwing is eight, Batgirl is making out with a saiyan/human hybrid, I was almost glad to go to Go to Captain Picard's Christmas party.

Though they wouldn't keep Vincent in the brig there. Well I've wasted too much time, I have a team to train.

More family troubles

I had been considering for some time creating a team as to take the fight to villians and investigate menaces before they become a true danger. I did not want the JLA knowing this because they are too reactionary.

I had considered the Outsiders , But Nightwing Pulled a temper tantrum really. he rolled on the floor screaming. So I decided to just create my own.

For the investigation Side I recruited the Question. For his investigative skills though they are less than mine he has more time on his hands than I do.

Alfred chimes in. " And he just happens to be insane Master Bruce. A while a go he told me that fluoride is to make teeth show up on surveillance satellites. "

" Or does he want you to believe he is insane? That is the Question."

" Please Master Bruce don't take up his habits."

He recruited Son Goku Who is strong resilient, a great martial artist, and has a telportaion ability.

" And he ate all supplies for next month Master Bruce."

A Spider -Man Clone called the Scarlet Spider.


Alfred rolls his eyes. " He goes from telling bad jokes to whining about how bad his life is constantly."

Catwoman.

" Master Bruce did the dates with Princess Diana not go well?"

" Diana is a professional and knows not to be jealous."

" And the JLA doesn't know about this? So what Wonder Woman doesn't know won't hurt you?"

" I'm not dating Catwoman!"

And finally the reason Tim is mad at me, Supergirl, though I suggested she wear her black costume so people can think there are two Supergirls again, and for some odd reason Kon-El is hanging around. Though I told him I didn't want him on the team. Hh. Perhaps he just wants to be trained.

I don't know if Timwas mad because he thought I stole his little friend,Conner, or because I did recruit from his team, and I'm not in the mood for teenage angst. He throws a tin of cookies at my head didn't do more than annoy me since I was wearing my mask with all the armor in it.

Conner started picking up the cookies and eating them. And he wants to be on my team. Well he's not and that's that.

Then Robin goes into a diatribe about how all the Bat family's troubles are my fault. " The reason Why Dick is not Robin any more is because he outgrew it, And wanted to be his own man." I correct.

" Jason disobeyed me not because of me but his own arrogance. Cassandra moved to West City, Well that's partially your fault isn't it? You introduced her to that alien hybrid thing that she has decided to live closer to, also in this case she let her hormones override her brain.

Stephanie's own stupidity caused the War Games. She stole my files and caused many innocent deaths."

He then starts yelling how he would never be me. " Of course not I wouldn't have acted like this at your age."

He starts saying how I haven't been a good father to him and How I should have discussed taking Supergirl off his team. " And when could I have done that? When your busy being drunk? Or when your not answering my calls? How about when you run around here on stimulants and making a fool of yourself? HALF THE TIME I CAN'T EVEN TALK TO YOU BECAUSE YOUR ON SOMETHING, THE OTHER HALF YOU WANT TALK TO ME!"

He runs out sobbing and left the mansion. Alfred went after him. Too bad he wasn't the only adopted son of mine who has some kind of problem. Richard has De aged to about an eight year old. Though the Question for some reason saw him as a grown man.

Which confirms my theory that he has some kind of shamanistic ability. Or Alfred's that he's completely insane.

" Holy awkward moment Batman! What was that all about?"

I have to think like my younger self when around him. I freak him out too much when I act like 34 year old Batman. So I have to remember how I was when I was 21. I was more optimistic, and I smiled more. but when I tried that Conner shouts " Rao! he's baring his teeth at the kid !"

" Conner go home! Your staying on the Titans!"

" Yeah after seein' how ya treat your own kids I'm glad ta have Rob lead me." He waves at my recruits. " Good luck you all. Your gonna need it."

" What's going on?" Richard whines.

" We'll find out old chum." Why did I used to talk like that?" How would you like to help me with with some tests?"

I put him through a whole battery of tests. Soon I'll hope to find out if this is The Richard we know deaged or one from an alternate reality. While I'm waiting for the results I go to find Alfred, or Tim.

I get the Batmobile a few miles down the road when someone jumps into the way and grabs the Batmobile.

I open the door. " Bruce Cain, I thought we would meet at some point. So what do you want?"

" The Cain Boy is in here, and he resents you for never accepting him Detective. "

The way he says "Detective?" " Ra's? Ra's Al Ghul?"

"Yes" After a fierce battle he defeats me with his pure strength. But I note something before I'm knocked out his fighting ability is all Ra's and none of the ability Cassandra would train into a child of hers, though I still doubt that story of this saiyan coming from the future."

I wake up chained without my utility belt and Talia staring at me sadly. Another fine mess...