Wolverine is a bigger waste of space than I first thought.

The Outlaws are busy taking down Weapon X. They seem to be able to handle it. So I decide it's time to go down to the Batcave and do some research on this Serial killer Shi is after. Unfortunately I'm greeted by this. Disgusting I keep telling them to leave that in West City. Also what is that thing in the corner going "woot" ? Looks like I need to fumigate the Cave again. Well there's only one response to that, give Robin two hours extra training for introducing Vincent to Cassandra.

The problem he'll take out on Superboy giving him extra training for no reason, then Superman Will come here all mad, then again that will at least get him out of the funk he's been in lately. I'm supposed to be the brooding one dammit.

“Vincent! Go home!" I order in my authoritative voice.

After grunting a little, he finally leaves. Oracle whispers in Cassandra's ear. "How many times did I tell you not to make out here the Boss can see?"

“Richard!” I yell "You're training with Batgirl today."

“But holy chivalry Batman! She's a girl!"

" Yes I think that's why she's called Batgirl." I respond.

They go up to the ring and start sparring. I'm hoping that this will jog some of Richard's memories , or maybe at least some of his advanced fight training will instinctually come back to save him from Cassandra's onslaughts.

I hear a lot of girlie screaming I turn and Cass has him in a triangle choke. Well that isn't working so far, but I should let the fight go for another fifteen minutes and see if any sign of Nightwing ever shows itself.

Before I can observe anymore an alarm goes off and the Bat Computer shows me camera footage of Wolverine cutting down some penguin thugs and calling me out. Sigh. I forgot all about him and his little emotional breakdown.

Not that I usually involve myself in mutant pathos, but this is effecting my strike team and their abilities, so I'd better go see Logan and let him know that his paranoia about me and Ana is unfounded.


I drive the Batmobile to the scene. Yes I'm finally buying gas for it, my other mode of transportation the Whirly -Bat was ... well just stupid. It’s petty much a lawn chair with a propeller on it. Though Alfred is still refusing to fill it. Luckily I have one of the Teen Titans do it now. I've finally found a use for them: manual labor.

I drive into Logan to catch his attention, I wonder which titan I'll force to buff out the claw marks in the paint job? Beast Boy looked pretty lazy last time I saw him.

Anyway I announce. “Logan I don't batarang your enemies please don't mutilate mine."

He jumps me.

Not that I didn't expect this. I throw a batrang that explodes and covers him in powder. he falls on the ground rolling around. “What the flamin' hell is this crap? AAAGH!"

" Itching powder.” I let a smile come over my face for a second. “I know your healing factor will fix you up soon enough, but listen to me you idiot I am not dating Shi. I was recruiting her for my strike team that's all we're only professional. Use your senses you can tell I'm telling the truth."

He gets up and stares at Me." yeah but maybe ya can fool my senses?"

" Possibly," I shrug. “But why would I? I have been dating Wonder Woman. I'd rather not be knocked from Gotham to New Jersey thank you very much."

He glares. “Yeah I do smell 'er on ya. Dammit! I've been suckered."

“By who?" I question.

“I dunno some punk I ain't ever heard Azreal or somethin' He sent me pictures of you and Ana."

Jean Paul! That's it! He's had a beating coming to him for along time now. It's time for me to give it to him. “You should know not to trust pictures in the age of Photoshop."

“Yeah, I guess bub, maybe I was just lookin' fer a reason to breakup with Ana." he growls.

" Why?" I have to say the way Logan looks, and smells he was lucky to get Ana and not dating his hand.

“They all die on me bub, either from old age, or slaughtered by someone."

Well that I can understand, though more often in my case they go crazy, or evil. “Someone once told me not to be afraid of Death so much that I stop living."

Logan shakes his head. “Who told ya that?"

"Superman, though he was exposed to a color of Kryptonite that made him act as if he was drunk at the time."

He laughs. “Drunken boy scout I'd pay to see that."

"Hh. It's not as amusing it sounds. “I have no idea what Logan decided to do about the whole Shi thing, but since he left Gotham without more incidents it's none of my business any more. When I return to the Cave I find Richard still getting beaten.

“Oracle? Why are they still sparring? it's been much longer than fifteen minutes."

“Oh really I hadn't noticed.” She gives an evil grin. I'm thinking this has something to do with Barbara's relationship with Nightwing I decide it's better not to pry, and tell Cass to take a break.

I notice she left an envelope on the conference table with something scrawled on it. I open it and see.


I have never wanted to see her like... that. I look at the envelope and again and finally decipher the scrawl as "for Vince." Fine. Robin gets five hours extra training for introducing those two. Also there’s that thing again. I’m defiantly getting the cave fumigated.

I'm back.

I've returned to a madhouse. First All these Titans running around ... Ugh I'm beginning to think I should just go ahead and pay for a new tower. Miss martian Going “Oooh! That's a bad thought!" Every time I walk by is annoying at best, And thinking of ways to relieve the Joker of his teeth are not bad thoughts.

I'm getting a little tired of Ravager stealing my weapons and Alfred's liquor.Oh And Kon-El Being well Kon-El. The incident with the interdimensional rodents was just the most recent goof up. That all the others are just plain irritating especially Wondergirl. I should talk to Diana about her sometime.

Also I don't know what's up with Jason. When I left he was wearing a leather jacket and calling himself "Red Hood." I come back he's wearing this and calling and calling himself "Red Robin." I don't know if he got that idea from a dream or what.

And the other two Robins Are having a fit over him calling himself a robin, I had to save the both of them from Jason's crowbar twice today. Later on I teamed up woth Superman to defeat The Prankster, and the puzzler,

Actually we really didn't need to team up for that, it was an excuse to hang out at a coffe shop later and trade war stories, because well both Prankster and Puzzler are what Tim calls "lame".

Then I have to deal with Shi's boyfriend issues. Apparently Wolverine believes we are dating for some reason, I have to say though Diana is enough woman for any man, I have no need to cheat on her. The whole Bruce Wayne playboy act as always been that , an act.

Any way I wanted him to help with a mission to Weapon X. Seems he's too full of himself to see the truth. I think I'll have a talk with him after this all blows over. So I've sent Shi to Weapon X, Along with a certain Victor Sage AKA The Question. I

Also Supergirl keeps screaming at me to put Richard at his right age, problem being I'm not really sure how he was turned eight in the first place, I've looked through his appointment books since before his change, and I have no clue there. All his appointments seem to be with superhero women. One for that younger daughter of Vegeta, Sigh, Richard at least wait until she's eighteen. The twenty year old one I kind sort of understand, but this Best not to think about it. He was supposed to meet her At a building in between Gotham and west City, I found some interesting particle traces there, Maybe I have found something To return Richard to Nightwing.


But you know with all these problems at least it's not boring, like that Vacation ws. What was I thinking? Water skiing and a mystery train? Water skiing was way too easy, and can I help it that I solved the mystery on the train in one minute. The writers and the actors made it way to obvious.

So now The Mystery Train Company says I have an "attitude problem." They should see Hawkman now that's an attitude problem. Ah Gotham, why did I ever leave you? I missed the madmen, insane deathtraps and bickering sidekicks, its true what they say there's no place like home.

Batgirl: Stupid Misfit

What did I um... Do to Babs? She made me ...um take Misfit with me on patrol of Gotham. I like... patrolling.. gotham. It's good practice... for when I take over for Batman... Maybe I'll have Vincent be my Robin. Or... my Catman (Because he's not a woman.) Though... Vince wearing the Tiny Robin shorts...


“Mistress Cassandra!"

“Um Yes Alfred?"

“If you want me to continue to type this for you could please refrain from making me write things that put disturbing images in my mind?"

“Okay."

Anyway...I try to sneak up on the Mad Hatter... And Misfit starts talking. " You date a saiyan? Why? Is it true what they say about their tails? What's with that hair? Why does it change colors is it like a mood ring?"

Mad Hatter got away because... this ... um...kid... Talking warned him we were there.

I find him again... After beating up some thugs... Misfit does the same.. thing. “Why do you get to be Batgirl? I should be Batgirl! I'm the redhead, you have black hair."

As Mad Hatter gets away again. She says. “Wow you really suck at catching bad guys."

What would Batman do? I can only think of one thing... I knock her out with a Batarang in the back of the head. She'll heal up and find me... so I tie her.. up .. and hope she's too dumb to teleport.

Finally... I track down ... And catch Mad Hatter. When I get back... to the cave Barbra yells at me for ... for knocking out Misfit... Now I have monitor duty... Robin laughs at me.


“If you... Don’t stop laughing... I will tell Steph you sleep with a night light."

Robin gets all mad “Do not!"

“Do to!"

“Do not!"

"Ahem!" I hear behind me. I turn...


Yay! Bruce is back!

My new team's first mission is done.

Okay seems Connor Hawke isn't dead, he 's in a coma what can I say? I tune Ollie out when he's talking to me . Especially when he accuses me of protecting Time travelers I don't really like all that much.

My team has ferreted out a Skrull infiltration on SHIELD. Seems they were using The Military organization’s resources to create an army of Meta humans that would help them in their invasion. I gave this information of where the other labs are to The other Super groups.

And SHIELD as well, though I gave it to them anonymously. So all the labs will have SHIELD been destroyed by now, and whatever the Skrulls are planning has taken a crippling blow.


I should be helping the JLA with whatever they're doing in all of this, but I think it's high time I do something I haven't done in a long time. Leave the city to my sidekicks for a few days, (which is why I have so many of them.) And take a little time off.

Bat Christmas

The JLA Meeting was about how they know what I'm doing with the team I created and while officially they don't condone it, unofficially they seem to be fine with it. Though Ollie is trying to say I'm hiding Bruce Cain, and he blames the supposed time traveler for his son Connor's death. Though I heard he was shot by a cloud.


That sounds really stupid when you say it out loud, or when you don't. It seems Ollie doesn't know me very well. I don't like Cain very much, and I wouldn't help him do anything. I don't think he has anything to do with Connor's murder. Besides he's fallen off the map recently I hope he went back where he came from.

At Christmas Eve back at Gotham I had to deal with another "Christmas with the Joker." Are they ever going to keep him locked up? The most unbelievable thing happened, the Batmobile actually broke a wheel like that stupid song.


On the way home I found these keys that said had a note saying "To Batman." I look over and there's a thing that looks like a combination of a Batmobile and a tank with a bow on it.

As for the sleigh, someone has to be messing with me, I suspect Superman. Whatever I drove this thing and captured the Joker with ease. I'm going to keep it handles like a dream, don't know what to call it yet, though I'm thinking Bat-Tank or Tumbler.

Today our present to Alfred was for all of us to do the work he'd normally do. Robin was calling Cassandra Sandsmark AKA Wondergirl talking about finding someone called "Justice." Meanwhile Stephanie Brown was giving him the evil eye.

And Richard is still an Eight year old. And I gave him a rabbit as a present, for Tim a pair of Adamantium gloves like me, and Cassandra's and a gift certificate for as many CDS he could ever want.

Cassandra I gave her a new Bo Staff so she'll stop stealing Nightwing's if he ever becomes Nightwing again. Someone also gave her a pair of Nunchucks I'm guessing her boyfriend.

Barbra's gift to Cassandra didn't go over so well. And who invited Azreal?


Also Jean Paul needs to cut down on the caffeine. That little outburst was unnecessary. Not that he had any time to apologize because he was attacked in approximately .03 seconds later, by Cassandra's half alien boyfriend.

I had no idea Vincent was going to be here, but I should have suspected. The kid is so damn fast there was no way I could have stopped him from killing Azreal, but he only punched Valley, and let him go . “Stay away from her."

Well there's hope for that boy yet. His posture, breathe. face and everything suggested he wanted to kill , but he didn't, even though he's the son of one of the Galaxy's worst mass murderers.

Hh. Looks like Barbra was right, he can be a hero and not whatever the hell Vegeta is. I hate being wrong. Oracle is going to brag forever. I wonder If I leave this alone like Nightwing suggested before he became a little boy would she just get tired of him?

well there's always the worst case scenario, I could end up being invited to some strange Saiyan wedding ceremony in a few years. I push that horrible thought out of my mind , and decide it's high time to teach, Robin/Tim and re teach Robin/ Richard, and Batgirl how to fly the Batwing.

It didn't go so bad for Tim seems he's been practicing. Richard I think maybe remembering his old life, and did quite well as for Cassandra well...



Vincent laughs in the plane. “This is fun; there is nothing for you to worry about."

Tim shakes his head." Easy for you to say not only are you dating Miss Kamikaze, but you’re invulnerable."

“True."

That was a good day now everyone is back to their own missions, and I have to see what the see what the Question, and the other Outlaws have come up with on the super soldier case.

Batgirl: Older brothers

Me and Vincent.. Are back together.. but it is .. All weird. .. Stupid Celera.. and her dumb .. Breakup plan. I'm supposed to.. Go to a dance at ... um Xavier's with Vincent.

So I put on.. the dress.. That Steph.. and me picked out. But. I am not wearing... those shoes. Dumb high heels break on me.... How Barbra had them... in a costume... I don't know.

Barbra came in and asked me if I “Beat up Celera so bad she was put in a hospital in West City."

I looked at her. “No."


“Crap. They found a piece red plastic the kind in the Red Hood's stupid helmet."

I um ask "Jason?"

“Yes Jason. You were nice to him Cassandra, I guess him beating up the ones that made you and Vincent break up is his way of looking out for you. Celera maybe lucky to be alive. I may have to warn Jean Paul."


“You... think He would hurt Azreal?"

“Yes, and if he thinks he really hurt you. Who knows? He could kill him."

" Um.. Barbra... How are you? Since... Richard turned .. to a boy?"

“Worry about that later. Right now I'm going to have to track down either Azreal or Hood."


She goes.. to her um computer, Does some stuff.. She calls. "Azreal? This is Oracle,you may have a situation."


" If you mean Red Hood, Yeah I know. Little punk is trying to stab me Arrgh!"

Then Jason's voice.. comes over the speaker. " Hiya Babs. See you at Christmas."

“Damn!" Oracle yells. “Bruce is ... Somewhere. The Birds of prey are already on a mission, and Robin's in West City, besides that Azreal is wanted, and Hood is a SHILED Agent.

I'll... Stop them."

She rolls her eyes. “In that dress shouldn't you at least get into costume?"

I was already out the window.. After swinging through the buildings.. And listening to ...Babs' .. Uh Instructions, I find them, fighting.


Jason, and Jean Paul were fighting.. um equally until.. Jason used a tazer. on Jean Paul. Then he started kicking Azreal in the gut.

“Stop!" I yell.

" Huh? Wha? Ah Great. Az must have a locater on his costume Huh? Well hey Little Sister. Isn't a little cold to be in that dress? Trying a new codename? Goose bump girl maybe?"

“Jason... Don't hurt him.” I say.

“Ah don't tell me you got feelings for this loser."

I shrug " He's my friend."

" Well sis I know you don't know all of this stuff yet, but you see friends don't break up friend's relationships." He punches Jean Paul.

“That Hybrid wasn't good enough for her!" Azreal screams. He gets up he puts his um hand on my face. " She needs someone more her type."


Jason punches Azreal in the kidney. “Find a woman your own age, or better yet one that actually likes you."


I get in between the two "Stop! Jean Paul.. Your my friend.. I don't like you that way. "

" Yeah, pal. Now hands off!" Jason grabs onto him and Azreal cuts his chest I he falls down. Jean Paul jumps off the roof... He acts likes he's drunk.. Or something."

I try to look at the um wound on Jason... All He was wearing more armor.. under his costume ... Than normal. And there was this ... Um symbol thing.

"Jason... What?"

“Oh the costume? I was thinking of changing my codename. Getting a little sick of the strawberry lollipop jokes. So what's with the dress?"

“I was supposed to be at an ...um dance in New York."

“Well we can get there in my car. Special SHIELD Issue, Sis."

" Um..What's so special about it?"

He smiles " It can fly."


" So... He took me to the dance, and waited outside... while me and Vincent had a good time. Though... his friends wondered.. why I had on um...sneakers on. I have to remember.. to.. um Tell Jason to let me.. solve my own problems.

Finding a replacement is harder than I thought

Catwoman quit the team. So I have to find a replacement. Worse yet at Vampirella's blog birthday party Jason decided to be disgusting, and sit in Vampirella's cake nude. I had to save him from Mirai while dodging a Wolverine/ Vegeta fight.

Not sure which angry midget to root for there. Any way after saving Jason's neck. Later at the pent house I rented for the Outlaws. I contact my first idea for a replacement. And while I get to listen to Goku and Richard fight over who was better on that stupid Airbender show. (He just had to come too.)

All of the sudden Scarlet Spider is thrown through a window. " Gah! What is up with that kid? She has no superpowers how could she do that to me?"

Goku jumps up "Who?"

"Her." Spider points.


"I was invited." Batgirl mumbles.

" Uh!uh! No way we believe that little miss League of Assassins! “Riley yells." That's ridiculous insane...”

“And true." I Interrupt. “Her time with the LOA was a ruse devised by her and myself."

Spider stares. “So you just have a fetish of making heroes look like villains?"

“Spider your too rusty in the use of your powers, you need more training go to it. "

" Aww man!" He complains.

Cassandra wandered off and started talking to Question. "So .. your not bad?"

“Nope just like you're not. It's good to see you again kid. Are Vincent and Inertia keeping out of trouble?"

She starts getting uncomfortable . And I know the reason why and it couldn't have come at a better time. Though it was inevitable given that the saiyan boy is nothing but a brute.

“Vic I would like to talk to Cassandra alone.”

“Sure." He nods.

“What’s going on? " She asks.

“Since your little infatuation with the hybrid is over I was wanting to know if you'd like to join this team?"


She looks confused. “But... um what a... about Steph?"

“Spoiler can join too." I reassure.

" Vella?.. Inertia... Ironboy?"

“All of them can't join, but..."

“No... I've made friends... I don't want.. to leave them." Then she makes a sighing noise. “And.. Vincent is... being used.. I don't want.. him.. to be with that girl... He'll be ... miserable." Her hand clenches into a fist, and she seems to make a decision. then she jumps out the window and swings toward my mansion looks like she'll be using the teleporter in my cave .

After the training, and Goku returning home , I head back to my cave as well and go through the files of known vigilantes, then I find one who I've had a run in with before. Shi.

Hmmm maybe. Then my JLA communicator Beeps.

“Batman here." I answer.

“Bruce this is Superman. We'd like to talk about your little strike team."

Great.